Category: Podcast

Every man has a leader inside of him, but if he doesn’t learn how to lead himself first, he’ll never be able to lead others, let alone a marriage. So many men believe that focusing ONLY on their wives’ happiness will inevitably make them happy, but this approach too often leads to catering and giving up parts of themselves for peace in the household. Once the man forgets who he is, he stops being a leader, and a marriage without a leader isn’t a marriage at all. In this new episode, Mark sits down with a graduate of the VIP Empowered Man program, Andrew Lawrie, to detail how Andrew has been finding his inner leader and bringing new life into his marriage and career.

“ We don’t have the secret success to life; what we have is life. Our goal isn’t to save your marriage; our goal is to wake your ass up.”

 – Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– Why THIS beloved saying was actually KILLING Andrew’s marriage.

– After Andrew realized his marriage was failing, he made this ONE adjustment that shows why leadership can make or break a relationship.

– If you want to know how to set rock-solid boundaries and NEVER be a pushover again, listen to these practical steps you can practice TODAY.

– Andrew’s “bowling alley” analogy that keeps his life on track EVERY day.

How to Connect with The Empowered Man:

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To live is to constantly grow and improve, but if you’re blaming anyone else but yourself, you’re not growing. Looking at yourself honestly and taking accountability can be incredibly painful, but it IS necessary in your growth as a man. Most of us have wounds, but touting them as trophies isn’t how they heal; they heal when you go to surgery. In this new episode, Mark lays out the fundamentals of why men are so stubborn about seeking help, three actionable steps to help you EARN back control, and the ONE question that will reveal the mountain. Remember: YOU have to climb it.

“Victim energy is when you operate your life from an energy source that makes other people feel sorry for you.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– Listen to THIS analogy to fully grasp why men refuse to get help and continue to bleed on the inside.

– Can’t seem to get clarity on your issue? Focus on figuring out THIS about yourself first, then the problem will reveal itself, but YOU are responsible for solving it.

– If you’re tired of feeling like an out of control victim in your marriage, remember these THREE steps to make change and take control.

– In the moments when you feel the most disempowered and small, ask yourself this ONE question to see the mountain through the fog.

Connect with Mark Santiago:

Get In The Free Facebook Group

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– Facebook

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When emotions are running hot and the stakes are high, should divorce be an option? The decision to file for divorce is never an easy one, so how do you know if it’s the right choice for you? In this new episode, Mark reminds you what you NEED to ask yourself BEFORE you commit to any life-changing decisions. Your situation is unique, so you DESERVE to define your boundaries, commit to bettering yourself, and OWN yourself before you disown a marriage. So, what is your “acceptable”?

“Before you file for divorce, ask yourself this: What is okay, and what is not okay?”

– Mark Santiago 

In This Episode:

– If you want to avoid falling apart after the affair, ask yourself THESE questions FIRST

– The concrete steps to OWN your s@$%, fully heal, and not bleed on your next relationship

– How to harness the POWER of boundaries to redefine yourself and KNOW if divorce is the best option for you

– Why you are NOT the “worst person ever” if you do seek divorce, but before you commit to anything, know that your decision affects more than just you

Connect with Mark Santiago:

Get In The Free Facebook Group

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– Facebook

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If you’ve created a fantasy about your wife returning to the marriage, let it go. This may sound harsh, but if you get attached to an outcome instead of reality, you will fall into the same patterns of distrust and unhappiness. In this new episode, Mark lays out this simple truth: Your wife MIGHT return to the marriage, but instead of trying to save your marriage, you have to save yourself.

“You cannot base your marriage and future on someone who is not today what they were yesterday.” 

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– Beware of “false positives”

– How to accept who she is TODAY, not yesterday

– To invest in yourself, you can’t “waste your pain”

– Look for these FIVE things to know if she’s ready to return to the marriage  

Connect with Mark Santiago:

Get In The Free Facebook Group

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– Facebook

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When s&!% hits the fan, how will you react? Will you allow your emotions to rule you, or will you make a conscious choice to respond with dignity and respect? We don’t choose what happens in life, but we are fully in control of how we react to it. In this new episode, Mark emphasizes how your interpretation of a situation holds massive weight and lays out the steps to figuring out what you can control, becoming a true leader, and feeling more confident than you ever thought possible.

“I don’t have control over her loving me. What I have control over is the kind of man I become that makes her want to fall back in love with me.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– A simple, but NOT easy, technique to take CONTROL of your emotions

– Why you need to consciously ask yourself THESE questions

– How to always KNOW what you can vs. cannot control

– What it means to be a TRUE, empowered leader that women desire

Connect with Mark Santiago:

Get In The Free Facebook Group

– Website

– Facebook

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– LinkedIn

– YouTube

Being an “empowered” man means that you can get through anything alone, right? Very wrong. Being empowered means having the humility to admit when you need help, as there’s no shame in acknowledging your faults. Through that humility and willingness to learn, you’ll discover that there’s more to your situation than “divorce or not”. In this new episode, Mark lays out why men are reluctant to engage in groups, a daily self-check-in that keeps you accountable, and how to show your TRULY EMPOWERED self in the face of any adversity.

“What makes you great is when you can identify the weaknesses inside of you and realize that you need to be a bigger man in admitting you need help.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– You should be asking yourself THIS question EVERY single day

– The third option that most men don’t consider

– Why so many men “hang out on the periphery” and feel alone

– What it means to be a TRULY empowered man, no matter your situation

Connect with Mark Santiago:

Get In The Free Facebook Group

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– Facebook

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Let’s get real for a second: This work sucks sometimes. Spreading yourself wide open emotionally is painful and terrifying, but guess what? It’s necessary to heal. You know what else? You deserve to heal. In this new episode, Mark lays out why you need to greet struggle with open arms to beat your trauma, the support systems that will help you show up consistently, and why being vulnerable with others is the secret to empowerment.

“Vulnerability will heal your masculinity.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– How EMBRACING the pain leads to a happier life

– Why being surface level is a NIGHTMARE for a marriage

– The secrets to showing up, every single day, to create TRUE change

– How to admit your faults, seek help, and ACTUALLY heal from trauma

Connect with Mark Santiago:

Get In The Free Facebook Group

– Website

– Facebook

– Instagram

– LinkedIn

– Youtube

When your emotions are set to 11, word vomit comes naturally. But that’s exactly what it is—vomit. If your thoughts are unclear, your words will be too. With no clear direction, you cannot hope to save your marriage or yourself. In this new episode, Mark lays down the foundations of brevity, showing us the power of shutting up and choosing your words carefully. He explains the effect of pauses, the keys to being a leader in conversation, and who you ACTUALLY need to be in order to be happy.

“Brevity is leadership and makes you a safe space for her.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– The steps to establishing the narrative in any situation

– Why you DO NOT need your wife to be happy or a leader

– How to demand attention with pauses

– Why your inner scared child comes out in the face of divorce

– What women ACTUALLY look for in a man

Connect with Mark Santiago:

Get In The Free Facebook Group

– Website

– Facebook

– Instagram

– LinkedIn

– YouTube

Let’s be honest: The truth is scary! Looking at your TRUE self, every good and bad part, is uncomfortable as hell, so most guys don’t do it. Here’s the rub: That’s one of THE reasons a marriage falls apart. In this new episode, Mark shows us how miscommunication in marriage begins with miscommunication with yourself. Ultimately, becoming an empowered man involves staring at your vulnerable self in the face, recognizing every single fault, and vowing to always be honest with yourself. Once you do that, you can be honest with someone else. Period.

“If you’re lying to yourself, you’re going to lie to your wife.”

-Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– Why EVERYONE lies to themselves

– If you use these TWO S-words to describe yourself, you’ve already lost

– The CRUCIAL parts of a happy life and marriage

– How men can define masculinity and leadership on healthy, empowered terms

Connect with Mark Santiago:

Get In The Free Facebook Group

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– Facebook

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– LinkedIn

– YouTube

The goal of counseling is NOT to save your marriage. I repeat, saving your marriage is not the goal. The goal is for you to find your manhood and fight for it, no matter what she decides to do. Too many men are willing to sacrifice their identity to keep the marriage afloat, whether for the wife, the kids, or their pride. In this episode, Mark lays out five key mistakes that are actually harming your children more, crapping on your important boundaries, and keeping you in a state of retreat instead of leadership.

“Be a leader, not a retreater”

–Mark Santiago

In This Episode

– What to do when your wife wants you out

– How to leverage your pain and become a leader, not a retreater

– The relationship between divorce and your children

– What “focusing on you” ACTUALLY means

– Take these concrete steps to NEVER feel like a victim again

Connect with Mark Santiago:

Get In The Free Facebook Group

– Website

– Facebook

– Instagram

– LinkedIn

– Youtube