Empowered AF Podcast

When you go into a marriage, you choose a role to play. You’re either the PERSECUTOR, the RESCUER, or the VICTIM. These roles happen so fast, often without you even realizing it. But they can be a problem, so learning what each role entails will help you see how this is affecting your marriage. So which role are YOU playing?

In this episode, Mark is walking you through what it looks like to play each of these roles, how to tell which one YOU’RE playing, and some examples of how they might be showing up in your relationship. You need to STOP playing the game, learn how to actually COMMUNICATE, and move forward and do the WORK, so Mark is showing you why saving your marriage isn’t going to be what you think it is, and what it ACTUALLY is. Ready to SAVE your marriage and go further in your relationships? Don’t miss this episode. 

“It’s the little foxes that spoil the vine. It’s the little things that spoil the marriage.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– Find out how the drama triangle applies to any relationship

– Learn why doing the work on YOU will mean you don’t need to do as much on your MARRIAGE

– Hear the real reason so many men don’t get ANYTHING out of therapy

– Want to set HEALTHY boundaries in your relationship? Here’s how…

– Mark shares some examples of what these roles might look like in your day-to-day

– Are you DISEMPOWERING your wife with your behavior? Here’s how to tell…

– Mark shares why he believes marriage counseling doesn’t work 98% of the time

– You NEVER want to bring a drama triangle into ANY relationship. Here’s why…

– Learn why YOU are not responsible for your wife’s feelings

And much more…

 

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/

Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

Connect with the Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Questions? Email support@empoweredman.co

Connect with Mark Santiago:

– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/

Often, when men realize their marriage is coming to an end, they start looking at all the things they can do to CONTROL and CHANGE the situation. They might try to get smarter, or fitter, or do ALL the things, but the problem is they are doing the WRONG things. Doing all of the WRONG things is NOT going to bring your wife back. You need to listen up this week.

If your marriage is failing, it’s easier to blame HER than own your sh*t and accept YOUR responsibility. But you need to STOP looking externally for blame, START looking within, and START taking ownership of your life. There are certain things you HAVE to stop doing if you want to save your marriage, and in this episode, Mark shares 5 steps to saving your marriage. Hear three main ways men LIE to themselves when going through separation or divorce, and learn how to put yourself in a POWERFUL position to bring your wife back.

“Change for someone else is not authentic change. You have to do the work for YOU.”

– Mark Santiago 

In This Episode:

– Do you allow yourself to be VULNERABLE? Mark shares his own experience of being vulnerable and why it is SO important in your marriage

– Find out the ONLY way you can learn from your mistakes

– You need to change for YOU, not somebody else. Here’s why…

– Wondering what it takes for a marriage to be healthy? Here’s what it is…

– Discover the number one thing you have to stop doing if you want to save your marriage

– Do you need to get better at communicating and setting boundaries? Here’s how to tell…

– Mark shares what it means to detach from the outcome and why you need to do it to save your marriage

– Your EGO gets in the way every single time. Here’s why…

 And much more…

 

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/

Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

Connect with the Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Questions? Email support@empoweredman.co

Connect with Mark Santiago:

– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/

Are you SETTLING for less than what is available to you? Do you have a poverty mindset? You may never have thought about the idea of a poverty mindset; you might not even know what it is. But a poverty mindset tells you that you’re not good enough, that you are ALWAYS going to struggle, and that things will ALWAYS be this way. It leads to disempowerment. Having a poverty mindset DESTROYS relationships, and it is NEVER too late to choose yourself, and embrace life.

In this episode, Mark is showing you what a poverty mindset is, how to recognize it in your own life and why you need to realize your WORTH and invest in yourself BEFORE your relationship goes to sh*t. Hear the difference between a poverty and an empowered man mindset, and how to move from one to the other. You are WORTHY of more. You DESERVE better. Do NOT settle for the status quo, STOP being a victim, learn to REFRAME your mindset, and become an EMPOWERED man.

“If you can’t take care of yourself first, and you can’t handle your business, you have nothing left to give to other people.”

– Mark Santiago

 

In This Episode:

– Find out how your poverty mindset is SABOTAGING your ability to have a successful relationship

– You already have EVERYTHING you need to live an empowered life. Here’s why…

– Mark shares how he used to have a poverty mindset, and what he learned from it

– There is no growth when you are in a place of not good enough. Here’s why…

– Learn why a poverty mindset has NOTHING to do with money

– Mark shares why, for a long time, he didn’t think he was worth investing in

– Deep shame prevents you from connecting intimately. Here’s why…

And much more…

 

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/

Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

Connect with the Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Questions? Email support@empoweredman.co

Connect with Mark Santiago:

– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/

Your ego is about YOU, nobody else. It has NOTHING to do with HER, and EVERYTHING to do with YOU. Ego is about humiliation, not humility. It’s about shame, false hope, lust, and wishful thinking. It isn’t always bad, because it is there to protect you from bad things. But in its dysfunction, it can become bad. When it comes to how you feel about your marriage, you need to ask yourself: is it LOVE or is it your EGO?

The concept of the EGO has been around forever, but modern-day psychology talks about it in a different way. This week, Mark shares what EGO looks like as a man, how it plays a part in all the things you do, and the danger of it. Discover why the job of the ego is to PROTECT you, your values and ideals, and how to equalize it to bring more BALANCE into your life.

“When men get healed, marriages get fixed.”

– Mark Santiago 

In This Episode:

– Mark shares how egotistical he was in his own marriage and how his ego tried to protect him

– You love YOURSELF more than anything else when you are walking in ego. Here’s why…

– Find out the struggles Mark faced with the concept of his ego in his own life

– When all you can think about is yourself, it’s because you don’t know how to receive love. This is the reason…

– Discover what it looks like to walk from a place of EGO and the danger of doing so

– The more POWER you get, the more fuelled your ego is. Here’s why…

– Mark discusses the recent example of Will Smith acting purely on EGO

– Discover the reason you need boundaries

And much more…

 

Resources Mentioned:

Ego Is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday: https://www.amazon.com/Ego-Enemy-Ryan-Holiday/dp/1591847818

 

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/

Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

Connect with the Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Questions? Email support@empoweredman.co

Connect with Mark Santiago:

– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/

Owning your sh*t is a LIFESTYLE, not a one-time thing. Owning your sh*t requires you to take responsibility. It requires you to STOP blaming others, and detach emotionally from the outcome of the things you want. If you want to be a man that gets results, that truly LEADS, you need to learn to detach from the outcome. Are you willing and ready to do the work on YOURSELF?

Detachment is KNOWING the goal and understanding what you WANT, but emotionally detaching from the CONSEQUENCE; the RESULT. As an empowered man, THAT is where you need to be. In this episode, Mark is showing you how to detach from the outcome of WHATEVER you want in your life and sharing the number one thing you have to STOP doing if you want to work on yourself. If you want true TRANSFORMATION, you need to level up and Mark is here to help you do this so you can become the LEADER of your own life.

“Our kids need men who are leaders. They don’t need men who are so afraid of making a decision that they can’t move forward.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– Discover what is CRITICAL in becoming a strong leader

– Mark shares what it means to detach from the outcome and how to apply this in your life

– Your old marriage is DEAD you cannot save it. Here’s what you can do instead…

– Want to know what working on YOURSELF looks like? Mark is showing you exactly what it takes…

– If you want to be SUCCESSFUL in life, there are some things you CAN NOT think. Here’s what they are…

– Hear why EGO is the enemy

– Find out why just because YOU’RE in pain, it DOES NOT mean everybody around you is trying to take advantage  

– Learn why you need to STOP letting everybody else make decisions for you

And much more…

 

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/

Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

Connect with the Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Questions? Email support@empoweredman.co

Connect with Mark Santiago:

– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/

If you are on a journey towards reconciliation in your marriage, you NEED to pay attention this week. Mark welcomes two incredible guests to the podcast, who serve people just like YOU. They are preaching the same message of EMPOWERMENT as here at Empowered Man, it just so happens that these guys do it as a power couple.

Tommy and Desnekka help couples go from ROOMMATES to TEAMMATES in 8 weeks through their program Marriage 2.0. They took MULTIPLE nuclear bombs to their marriage, and they SURVIVED, and they now use everything they went through as a couple to help other couples. If you’re at a fork in the road in your marriage, or you WANT to make it work with your wife, but don’t know where to start, pay CLOSE attention this week. Tommy and Desnekka share the importance of BOUNDARIES and why you can THRIVE in marriage despite being total opposites. They share some questions to ask yourself if you are looking for CLARITY, and how to do the work required to create a NEW marriage.

“The process isn’t going to be instantaneous, it’s not a light switch. But you can thrive in a marriage where you are complete opposites.”

– Tommy and Desnekka

In This Episode:

– How to look at the unfiltered truth about what’s going on in your marriage

– The problem with not building REAL foundations before trying to make your marriage work

– You need to get HELP before you reach the point where you fully hate your wife. Here’s why…

– Hear the intense LOWS Tommy and Desnekka experienced that they worked through TOGETHER

– Desnekka shares how her childhood trauma affected the way she showed up in the marriage

– Hear a woman’s perspective on what it means to work on yourself

– Mindset dictates EVERYTHING in your life, here’s how…

– This is what you SHOULD NOT DO when your wife is already emotionally checked out in your marriage…

 And much more…

 

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/



Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

Connect with the Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Questions? Email support@empoweredman.co

Connect with Mark Santiago:

– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/

Connect with Tommy and Desnekka:

– https://www.tommyanddesnekka.com/freemarriagetraining1644619744783

Obstacles are highly likely to make you emotional. Maybe you lost your job. Maybe your teenager is acting up, or something is going on with your wife and family. Whatever it is, you can’t afford to panic. No matter WHAT is coming at you, you cannot afford to panic.

When you FREAK OUT, and you PANIC, it costs you time, money, resources, and relationships. It doesn’t solve the problem. If you want to overcome the obstacle of divorce and separation, you need to develop an awareness of the TRAUMA you have not dealt with. You need to understand your REALITY to act from a place of love and strength. In this episode, Mark shares the ONLY way to overcome feelings of panic, and three quick, easy steps you can take to move through feelings of panic and fear to become the man you WANT to be.

“Doing the work is BECOMING the work. It’s taking the words and knowledge and BECOMING them. You cannot stay in panic, fear, or sadness. You have to move on.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– Hear what Mark means when he says keep emotions in check

– Panic MAGNIFIES when it transfers to other people. Here’s why…

– Learn how to make better decisions that WILL make you more successful

– Feeling triggered, afraid, or angry? Do this…

– Panicking won’t solve ANYTHING. Here are some things you should do instead…

– Hear a question to ask yourself if you’re panicking in the midst of a divorce

– Mark shares why you need to STOP venting and what you should do instead

– So many of you are afraid to HUMBLE yourself, but this is where true power comes from. Here’s why…

– Discover why, if you don’t KNOW the man you want to become, this WON’T work

– Panic COSTS you. Here’s why…

 And much more…

 

Books mentioned:

– The Love Dare by Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Dare-Alex-Kendrick/dp/1433679590

– The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials Into Triumph by Ryan Holiday: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Obstacle-Way-Timeless-Turning-Triumph/dp/1591846358

 

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/

Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

Connect with the Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Questions? Email support@empoweredman.co 

Connect with Mark Santiago:

 – Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/

Can you imagine knowing instinctually where you’re supposed to go, what you’re supposed to do, and what you’re meant to say without having to think about it? When we are shakeable inside, we don’t know how to show up. But if you want to be an empowered man, you have to be a leader. And true, great leaders know their role. True leaders are UNSHAKEABLE.

Being an unshakeable leader doesn’t mean having the answer to everything, but that you own your sh*t when you do. In this episode, Mark shares a real-life sports example where a dude had ICE in his veins; a story of a dude that was truly UNSHAKEABLE. Hear a three-part strategy to help YOU become unshakeable and learn how to stop sitting on your ass and waiting for sh*t to happen, and start putting yourself in the most POWERFUL position possible.

“Set the target. Take Action. Detach from the outcome.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– Learn how to change your perspective and move forward no matter what your wife or anyone else has done

– Find out the number one cause of divorce

– Learn why men who respond to things in their life out of their HEAD instead of their HEART is such a big issue

– Mark shares why he would rather follow a president or leader who ADMITS they don’t know the outcome of something, but can detach from it

– Hear what happens when you have POOR leadership

– Discover what it takes to become mentally strong and to fortify yourself in a place of emotional strength

– Mark shares some actions you can take to become truly UNSHAKEABLE

And much more…

 

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/

Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

Connect with the Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Submit your Questions: podcast@empoweredman.co

Connect with Mark Santiago:

 – Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/

We all have perspective, but so many of us don’t understand how POWERFUL it is. Life is about choices, and here’s the thing, YOU get to CHOOSE the perspective you want to have in ANY area of your life. So instead of blaming your wife, the market, or anybody else for YOUR shortcomings, get your sh*t FIXED and choose a different perspective. YOU get to choose what you want and what you become; that is the power of perspective.

 This week, Mark is showing you how to choose an EMPOWERED mindset instead of a DISEMPOWERED one and sharing his own experiences of choosing a perspective that did not allow him to waste his pain, become disempowered, or wither away. Mark chose to become STRONGER and is sharing three tools to help you understand the power of perspective, so you can do the same.

“Transformation doesn’t happen overnight. It is a process. You are more capable than you realize.”

– Mark Santiago

In This Episode:

– Learn why any obstacle is in fact an opportunity to grow

– Hear why the perspective so many men have while going through divorce is a problem

– Find out how your experiences STRENGTHEN you as a man

– Mark shares where so many men play the victim and why doing so is not useful

– Discover why true growth does not happen in the easy, it happens in the DIFFICULT

– Here are some questions to ask yourself to change your perspective on a situation…

– Mark shares his own experiences of turning obstacles into opportunities

– Learn an exercise in managing your worries about what you CAN and CANNOT control

– Wasting your pain is the dumbest thing you can do. Here’s what to do instead…

– Mark shares why CHOOSING divorce was the BEST thing he ever did

– Hear the REAL reason women leave marriages…

And much more…

Books mentioned:

–   The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials Into Triumph by Ryan Holiday: https://www.amazon.com/Obstacle-Way-Timeless-Turning-Triumph/dp/1591846358

–   Ego is the Enemy: The Fight to Master Our Greatest Opponent by Ryan Holiday: https://www.amazon.com/Ego-Enemy-Master-Greatest-Opponent/dp/1781257027

 

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/

Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

Connect with The Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Submit your Questions: podcast@empoweredman.co

Connect with Mark Santiago:

– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/

When we think about separation and divorce, what usually comes to mind is that it is an obstacle. We see it as a problem, and something that needs to be fixed. But when you look at your separation or divorce and only see the problem, you fail to realize that it is actually an opportunity.

Too many of you are so HURT and so ANGRY when you go through a separation or divorce that you don’t know how to take action. But the philosophy Mark shares today is so impactful that you should be applying it in EVERY aspect of life. Mark is showing you how to look at your problem for what it actually is, how he applied this work in his own life, and how to turn these obstacles into opportunities in your life.

“This can’t harm me. I might not have wanted it to happen, but I decide how it will affect me. No one else has the right.”

– Mark Santiago 

In This Episode:

– Learn why your EGO might be getting in the way of your marriage

– Mark shares what unselfish action looks like and how to take it in your marriage

– There is a way to take ownership over your feelings. Here’s how…

– Mark shares the concept of objective judgment and how to look past it to discover what’s really going on inside of you

– As a husband, you have responsibilities, and your wife has responsibilities. Here’s the difference between the two…

– Hear why men look at problems through a lens of trying to figure them out instead of accepting what is

– Mark shares the difference between internal and external pain and how to understand your own core pain

– Learn what manipulation is and how to make sure you don’t do it in your relationship

– Ego is the ENEMY. Here’s why…

And much more…

Books mentioned:

– The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials Into Triumph by Ryan Holiday: https://www.amazon.com/Obstacle-Way-Timeless-Turning-Triumph/dp/1591846358

– Ego is the Enemy: The Fight to Master Our Greatest Opponent by Ryan Holiday: https://www.amazon.com/Ego-Enemy-Master-Greatest-Opponent/dp/1781257027

– The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.: https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/

Join the Thrive Program:

-Website: https://training.empoweredman.co/application/

Take the Empowered Man 5 Day Challenge:

-Website: https://www.empoweredman.co/order-form1651254400260

 

Connect with The Empowered Man:

– Call to Book: https://go.oncehub.com/EmpoweredMan

– Get In The Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredbusinessmen

– Watch This: https://youtu.be/8phE5WtaY6U

– Website: https://empoweredman.co/

– Submit your Questions: podcast@empoweredman.co

Connect with Mark Santiago:

 – Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.santiago.35977

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwsantiago/

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-santiago-854a68a/