Empowered AF 2.0 – Episode 118: “Q & A with Mark Santiago”
In this episode, Mark dives deep into the most critical questions men face when trying to save a marriage. Whether you’re wondering if it’s time to let go, navigating the pain of separation, or dealing with a mentally ill spouse, Mark provides actionable advice on how to become the best version of yourself in the face of adversity.
Highlights:
- Deciding When to Give Up on a Relationship – Brant asked how to know when it’s time to give up on a relationship. Mark shared his personal experience, emphasizing the importance of self-improvement rather than chasing reconciliation with an unwilling partner.
- Navigating Separation and Divorce – Robert opened up about his wife leaving, filing for divorce, and his journey of rebuilding himself while maintaining a relationship with his children. Mark stressed focusing on personal growth and avoiding harmful coping mechanisms.
- Saving a Marriage with a Mentally Ill Spouse – Tony asked how to navigate marriage with a spouse dealing with mental illness. Mark advised that in some cases, like with severe mental health conditions, the relationship may be too toxic to save, and the healthiest option might be personal growth and co-parenting.
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YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
Empowered AF 2.0 – Episode 117: “How to Leverage Your Time to Save Your Marriage”
In this episode, Mark breaks down the TSC (Time, Space, Consistency) model, designed to help men navigate through separation or divorce by leveraging time wisely. He stresses the importance of building key skills such as communication, self-trust, ego control, and listening to avoid reacting emotionally.
Highlights:
- Leveraging Time with the TSC Model: Mark introduces how focusing on skill-building during tough emotional times can help men handle separation more effectively.
- Shifting Focus Inward: Instead of trying to change others, Mark encourages men to take responsibility for their growth and use this as a time for self-improvement.
- Setting Boundaries: Howard and Ragen’s stories highlight the need for setting and sticking to personal boundaries to regain confidence and manage emotions.
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YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
Empowered AF 2.0 – Episode 116: “The 4 C’s of Communication Especially When It’s Toxic”
In this episode, Mark dives deep into the art of effective communication and emotional understanding. As men go through difficult relationships or life changes, mastering these skills is essential for personal growth and stronger connections with others.
Highlights
- Clear, Concise, Calm, and Certain Communication – Mark discusses how honing these four pillars can transform difficult conversations into productive ones. Learn how to avoid miscommunication and foster emotional connection by refining your approach.
- Understanding and Expressing Emotions – Gain insights into recognizing and articulating emotions, and how tools like the “emotion wheel” can help foster deeper, empathetic conversations.
- The Four C’s of Effective Communication – Master the elements of being clear, concise, calm, and certain in your interactions. Mark explains how these work together to enhance communication and avoid unnecessary conflicts.
- Listening and Understanding Your Partner – True communication goes beyond talking; it involves active listening. Mark shares how understanding your partner’s perspective is critical, even when it’s different from your own.
- Continuous Growth and Accountability – Communication is a journey. Mark encourages you to implement the four C’s regularly and seek support when needed to keep growing and improving.
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YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
Empowered AF 2.0 – Episode 115: “Why Your Wife Doesn’t Trust Your Changes”
In this episode, Mark dives deep into the crucial elements of consistency and the necessary infrastructure for sustaining lasting change. He explores how identity shifts, accountability, and self-awareness are foundational to personal growth and relational success. Whether you’re struggling with maintaining consistency or confronting deep-seated fears, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable steps.
Highlights
- Consistency and Building Infrastructure -Mark opens the discussion by stressing the importance of consistency and the need for a strong infrastructure to support ongoing change. He uses the analogy of The Boring Company’s tunneling process to illustrate how a solid foundation is essential for progress.
- Identity Shift and Accountability – The conversation shifts to the necessity of an identity shift to uphold new standards and maintain consistency. Mark explains how accountability and support systems prevent individuals from slipping back into old habits, using examples from high-performing sports teams.
- Jeff’s Struggle with Consistency – Jeff shares his challenges with staying consistent in his relationship, particularly under financial stress. Mark advises setting clear boundaries to manage emotional states and maintain open communication.
- Bill’s Struggle with Ego and Replacement Fears – Bill discusses his fears of being replaced as the primary caregiver for his daughter. Through guided self-reflection, Mark helps Bill connect these fears to his childhood experiences in the foster care system, reframing them as opportunities for growth and healing.
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YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
Empowered AF 2.0 – Episode 114: “The Skills You Need to Develop to Win in Marriage”
In this episode, Mark dives deep into the essential skills for personal growth and relationship success, even during tough times. Whether you’re navigating the challenges of a struggling marriage or just looking to improve yourself, this episode is packed with actionable insights.
Highlights
- Importance of Self-Work During Difficult Times: Mark stresses the necessity of continuous personal development, especially during challenging periods. He encourages listeners to stay committed to their emotional and mental well-being.
- 3 Key Skills for a Healthy Marriage: Learn about three critical skills for a healthy marriage: (1) Truly hearing your wife versus just listening, (2) Developing situational awareness and not being clouded by emotions, and (3) Practicing mindfulness for emotional regulation.
- Difference Between Hearing and Listening: Mark uses a scene from “White Men Can’t Jump” to explain the crucial difference between hearing your partner’s true feelings versus just listening to their words.
- Awareness of the True Situation: Mark shares his experience of gaining awareness during his divorce, highlighting the importance of understanding the full context of your relationship before reacting.
- Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation: Discover why mindfulness is vital for emotional regulation and how addressing the root causes of your emotions can prevent irrational reactions.
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YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
Empowered AF 2.0 – Episode 113: “How to Get Your Wife to Lean Back into the Marriage”
In this episode, Mark dives into the challenges men face when their wives suddenly withdraw from the marriage. He offers insights on understanding trauma responses, navigating the push-pull dynamic, and the importance of rebuilding from a place of strength.
Highlights
- Wife’s Sudden Withdrawal – Mark explores the trauma response triggered by a wife’s sudden withdrawal, leading to defensiveness or passivity in men. Recognizing your patterns is crucial for effective navigation.
- Push-Pull Dynamic in Marriage – The “push-pull” dynamic is explained, where a husband’s attempts to reconnect may intensify his wife’s withdrawal. Mark emphasizes that understanding her need for boundaries is key.
- Rebuilding from Strength, Not Weakness – Mark advises against desperate attempts to win back a wife, suggesting instead that men focus on genuine self-improvement from a place of strength and purpose.
- TSC Model: Time, Space, Consistency – The TSC model is introduced as a way to rebuild trust. It’s not just about giving her space but also about personal growth and consistent change.
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YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
Empowered AF 2.0 – Episode 112: “TSC Model for Saving Your Marriage – How to Give Your Wife Space”
In this episode, Mark dives into real-life situations shared by participants dealing with separation, divorce, and complex relationship dynamics. He offers tailored advice on how to navigate these challenges by focusing on personal growth and setting healthy boundaries.
Highlights
- Separated but living together after reconciling post-divorce.
- Recognizing toxic, codependent relationships and the importance of self-growth.
- Facing divorce after 30 years and working on personal development during the waiting period.
- Handling false infidelity accusations and focusing on reality.
- Struggle with his ex-wife’s new relationship and setting personal boundaries.
- Approach to co-parenting while reducing contact with his ex.
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YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
Empowered AF 2.0 – Episode 111: “Mark’s The 7 Laws of Problem-Solving”
In this episode, Mark Santiago shares his “7 Laws of Problem-Solving,” a framework developed from his experience as a coach and business owner. These laws guide individuals in addressing both personal and relationship challenges:
- Not all problems need to be solved.
- Not all problems need to be solved now.
- Problems are agnostic – they don’t care who you are.
- Problems are meant to help you grow as a leader.
- Solving problems is a game of sequence – solve the right problems at the right time.
- Problems are challenges meant to help you grow.
- Don’t solve problems that haven’t been created yet.
Mark applies these principles to relationship issues, emphasizing the importance of addressing root causes rather than just symptoms. He shares a story about a client who regained power in his relationship by making the right decision to stay rather than leave.
Highlights:
- How to discern which problems to tackle first
- Understanding emotional disconnection in relationships
- The significance of doing inner work and setting healthy boundaries
Mark also provides practical advice for listeners, like Nate, who are dealing with complex relationship issues such as infidelity. He encourages focusing on personal growth and healing before moving forward with new relationships.
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YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce – https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcast
Join the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! – https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcast
In this episode, Mark engages in an impromptu “Ask Mark Anything” session, tackling a variety of questions. He delves into complex relationship issues, such as dealing with a partner’s affair, overcoming codependency, and navigating a divorce. He also emphasizes the importance of self-healing, boundaries, and genuine communication in facing challenges, offering insights and guidance to anyone grappling with emotional turmoil and relationship struggles.
Episode Summary:
- Navigating infidelity and confusion in a marriage. 0:03
- Mark explains that false positives are common in situations where a spouse has cheated, and the cheated partner may exhibit affectionate behavior towards their partner as a result of confusion and conflicting emotions.
- Mark advises a listener who is experiencing this situation to be patient and understanding, as it is normal for the cheated partner to go through a range of emotions and to take time to process their feelings.
- Infidelity and healing. 2:17
- Mark describes the process of healing from an affair as a “deep component” that requires self-reflection and personal growth.
- The responsibility of the person who has been cheated on is to work on their own healing and how to move forward, rather than trying to fix the other person.
- Mark acknowledges that you may not have put a gun to your wife’s head to make her cheat, but you may have created an environment that contributed to that.
- Mark recognizes that men often struggle to open up about their emotions and deal with them in a healthy way.
- Communication during and after divorce. 6:38
- Communicate with your ex-wife as a neutral person, not a former partner or friend, to maintain boundaries and respect each other’s space during a divorce.
- Mark shares his personal experience with moving on from a previous relationship and how he took the time to heal and come to a place of readiness for a new relationship.
- Mark advises others to prioritize healing and self-reflection before entering a new relationship, rather than rushing into it without proper closure and healing from past wounds.
- Grief, codependency, and confidence. 10:01
- Mark offers guidance on building confidence through self-reflection and identifying past wins.
- Mark discusses how men often struggle with codependency and losing confidence, leading to feelings of insecurity and a need to control.
- Mark emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation and honesty in addressing these issues.
- Personal growth and marriage reconciliation. 13:38
- Mark emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation and personal growth for men in marriages facing challenges.
- Mark encourages men to focus on their own personal development and stop worrying about their wives’ wants, as it is essential for creating a new marriage.
- Personal growth, relationships, and communication. 15:38
- Mark discusses having financial struggles and feeling powerless, seeking advice on how to navigate this situation.
- Finding inner strength to deal with the passive-aggressive behavior by an ex-wife that is causing emotional distress.
- Mark advises against blaming an ex-partner and instead focuses on personal growth and happiness.
- Dealing with an impending divorce and communicating with your soon to be ex-partner who doesn’t want to talk, emphasizing the importance of respecting her boundaries.
- Accepting divorce and personal growth. 20:10
- Mark acknowledges the difficulty of divorce for men and encourages open communication with your wife.
- Mark emphasizes the importance of accepting the reality of a failing marriage and moving forward with tools and support.
- Mark invites men to join the Thrive program for radical transformation and becoming the type of man your wife wants to communicate with and be married to.
- Mark encourages listeners to visit empowered man.co/book to book a call and figure out what’s next on their journey towards empowerment.
- Mark signs off and invites listeners to join the Empowered man group for more information and connection with other empowered men.
Listen In!
YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
Get the Rules of Engagement For When She’s Cheating, Says She Doesn’t Love You, or Filed for Divorce – https://training.empoweredman.co/30dvslyt?el=podcast
Join the Empowered Man 5-Day Challenge! – https://www.empoweredman.co/5d-challenge?el=podcast
In this episode, Mark shares more about the powerful “Be the Gift Challenge” he initiated during Christmas. He explores the profound parallels between Game of Thrones’ iconic theme “Winter is Coming” and the challenges faced in marriages. Drawing lessons from the series, he emphasizes the inevitability of life’s challenges, urging you as a man to prepare emotionally for Christmas and New Year, regardless of your marital situation. Mark advocates for the importance of a supportive brotherhood, highlighting its role in confronting internal struggles. Rejecting the idea of a single solution, he stresses the need for a focused strategy to address the root causes of pain, guiding you towards empowerment and authentic self-discovery.
Episode Summary:
- Mark Santiago introduces the next level of his podcast empowered AF 2.0, focusing on healthy communication, lifestyle, and personal growth.
- Mark references Game of Thrones to emphasize the unpredictability of life and the importance of being prepared for challenges, using the theme “winter is coming” as a metaphor.
- Mark discusses the theme of winter coming in the series, emphasizing its apocalyptic implications.
- Mark compares the show’s focus on winter to the way people ignore looming problems in their own lives, such as divorce or separation.
- Using pain to overcome obstacles in life. 4:37
- Mark notes that the White Walkers in Game of Thrones are relentless and overwhelming, despite efforts to defeat them with Valerian steel.
- A plan is ultimately successful in defeating the White Walkers, led by a brother and sister who work together to kill the king and shatter the army.
- Mark discusses the importance of facing pain and taking responsibility for personal growth, using the story of a linchpin to illustrate the idea that one key element can lead to significant change.
- Mark encourages listeners to be the gift they want to receive during the holiday season, rather than ignoring or denying problems.
- Coping with divorce during the holiday season. 9:29
- Mark acknowledges that winter (divorce) is coming for many couples, and preparation is key to being the best version of oneself.
- Mark encourages listeners to choose between being the “best version” or “bitch version” of themselves during the upcoming holiday season.
- Mark struggles with maintaining a facade of confidence and normalcy during a stressful family event, revealing their inner turmoil and emotional pain.
- Mark acknowledges the importance of confronting and dealing with your emotions, rather than burying them and pretending everything is fine, in order to move forward and find a positive outcome.
- The importance of addressing internal trauma for personal growth. 13:25
- Mark emphasizes the importance of a “brotherhood” in overcoming personal struggles and achieving success (14:56).
- A brotherhood can provide support, accountability, and the ability to “call out the enemy” (15:04).
- Mark acknowledges that the pain he is experiencing is not solely caused by external circumstances, but rather by internal trauma that he has neglected to address.
- Mark recognizes the need for a “Brotherhood” to help him address this internal pain and take on the “motherfucker” that is causing it.
- Overcoming toxic masculinity and self-sabotage. 18:39
- Mark internalized negative self-talk from fathe and attracted unhealthy relationships.
- Mark reflects on past relationships, realizing he was unintentionally disempowered and seeks personal growth.
- Personal growth and empowerment. 22:13
- “There’s got to be a better way for men.”
- “Become a man of integrity and authenticity, stop lying to yourself.”
- Mark challenges listeners to join a 90-day brotherhood to take back power in their lives and own their mistakes.
- A past participant who repeated the same patterns in multiple marriages finally found success with the program’s help.
- Mark challenges listeners to take ownership of their lives and become the gift to themselves, their families, and their future.
- Mark thanks listeners for joining the podcast and encourages them to visit previous episodes for foundational knowledge on being an empowered man.
Listen In!
YOUR journey of healing starts with trusting the Empowered Man process and a $27 buy-in. If you can’t afford that, then you are doing the wrong work. You are paid commensurate to your value — so create more value.
